
Gun holster
It was a rainy kind of morning, you know the way they get sometimes in the big city. You look out the window and you're pretty sure it's pouring down on the street below, but you can't really tell until you look down and see the forest of cheap black umbrellas going by. I'd just had my 16th cup of coffee, and cleaned my gun for the sixth time since last Wednesday. All things being equal, maintaining an overly clean sidearm is one of the more minor sins of law enforcement, unless you're like my colleague, McGinty, whose snub-nosed .38 was so well-lubricated (not unlike its owner) that it slipped out of its holster, hit the ground and blew his ear off. That was a once-in-a-lifetime thing, though. You gotta think it was, anyway.
Anyhow, I was just about ready to fall face first into my oatmeal when the Twitter alarm went off. It's a recent addition to our office. We put it right next to the scanner that monitors all incoming calls from officers in the field. We're not the only department with the new hardware. Just this week, police in England arrested some perpetrator who expressed the intention of blowing up Robin Hood airport, wherever the heck that is, if they didn't clear their snow-bound runways in time for his departure for Ireland. Guy thought he was kidding. Big joke. The Twitter bobbies confiscated his IPhone, laptop and computer, and he's banned for life from that airport. He's out on bail now, awaiting trial. I guess they'll throw the book at him. You can't be too careful. Guy says he was only kidding, but how can you tell in a Twitter? You can't. Tone of voice is very hard to establish.
Keeping an eye on these kinds of things are what guys like me are all about. New times create new criminals and new police officers to meet the new challenge. We're here to keep you safe from the wrong kind of Twitters and the Twitterers who Twitter them. Knowledge is power, you know, even an itty-bitty amount of it.
Not all of us Twitter policemen have the same outlook and duties, of course. Every place has its own idea of what should not be Twittered. In Guatemala, for instance, some individual decided to undermine the credibility of his local bank, which he said was corrupt. “First concrete action should be take cash out of Banrural and bankrupt the bank of the corrupt,” he Twittered. They arrested him. Searched his home. Kept him in a maximum-security prison with bigtime skells for a day and a half before letting him out on bail. That will teach him to impugn the honesty of Guatemalan banking officials.
And just a couple of months ago, at that big economic conference in Pittsburgh, the FBI managed to nab some guy who thought he could help those anarchists avoid arrest by Twittering police locations. Raided his house in Queens. Got the goods on him. This particular individual seems to be a social worker of some kind who belongs to several suspicious groups that advise protesters on their rights during confrontational actions. Just the idea of a person like that being on the street makes us Twitter police very nervous.
Twitters are dangerous, see. The messages are brief, but so are most of the subversive messages that have been sent and received by trouble-makers over the years. Think about it. “Give me liberty or give me death,” for instance. That did a world of damage. “Political power grows out of the barrel of a gun.” That Mao fellow got pretty far with that one. How about “Who moved my cheese?” That sold a lot of books for no reason I can ascertain. When it comes to riling people up, size doesn't matter is my point. Your punchy Twitter is worth a bunch of screeds.
Anyhow, that's what me and McGinty and Spitz and Mazilewski are here for. We're the Twitter police. We sit around most of the day doing nothing, eating doughnuts, making sure our pieces are well-oiled. But every now and then, like right now, that little alarm goes off and we hit the street. You can thank us of you like. Ignore us at your peril. And watch those little jokes, ladies and gentlemen. We don't have a very good sense of humor when the safety of the State is at stake. And we're coming to a town right near you.
There's no shortage of reasons that fans have grown so attached to “Lost” over the years. The show's mythology and character work are close to the top of that list, but there are other subtle but no less essential ingredients involved, including Michael Giacchino's score and the show's editing. At the end of the day, one of the single most important elements of all is the happy marriage between brilliant writing and line delivery from the actors, resulting in a wealth of unforgettable monologues and one-liners over the course of the show's five seasons.
After the jump, we've listed 42 memorable quotes from all five seasons of “Lost,” though there are certainly many other worthy speeches and zingers that didn't make the cut. Make sure to head to the comments section and remind us of your favorite quotes from the series.
Stay tuned to MTV tomorrow for the final edition of LOST IN NUMBERS, a series of features pegged directly to the show's trademark number sequence: 4, 8, 15, 16, 23, 42. Needless to say, spoilers for season five and earlier lie ahead. And make sure to tune into MTV Movies Blog tomorrow night for our live blog of the season premiere!
1. “There are two sides, two players. One is light, the other is dark.” — John Locke explaining the rules of backgammon (and, funnily enough, the central theme of “Lost”) to Walt Lloyd. (Season One, “Pilot”)
2. “I saw a guy lying there with an ankle holster, so I took his gun. I thought it might come in handy. Guess what? I just shot a bear!” — James “Sawyer” Ford after he's killed a polar bear. (Season One, “Pilot”)
3. “This is my destiny — I'm supposed to do this, dammit! Don't tell me what I can and can't do!” — John Locke to the walkabout tour guide after being denied admission due to his paralysis. (Season One, “Walkabout”)
4. “Don't choose, Jack. Don't decide. You don't want to be a hero. You don't want to try and save everyone. Because when you fail, you just don't have what it takes.” — Christian Shephard to a young Jack who has just been beaten up by bullies. (Season One, “The White Rabbit”)
5. “Crazy people don't think they're going crazy. They think they're getting saner.” — Locke trying to reassure Jack Shephard over seeing his dead father on the Island. (Season One, “The White Rabbit”)
6. “I've looked into the eye of this island, and what I saw was beautiful.” — Locke to Jack, explaining his recent encounter with the Smoke Monster. (Season One, “The White Rabbit”)
7. “That was, like, a Jedi moment.” — Hugo “Hurley” Reyes after Jack talked Shannon Rutherford down from an asthma attack. (Season One, “Confidence Man”)
8. “Baby, I am tied to a tree in a jungle of mystery. I just got tortured by a damn spinal surgeon and a genuine Iraqi. Of course I'm serious.” — Sawyer, who says it like it is, trying to extort a kiss out of Kate. (Season One, “Confidence Man”)
9. “A doctor playing golf? Boy howdy, now I've heard everything. What's next, a cop eating a doughnut?” — Sawyer to Kate after hearing about the newly constructed golf course. (Season One, “Solitary”)
10. “You bring her here. If you don't, I'm going to kill one of them. And then if you don't bring her back before sundown tomorrow I'll kill another, and another, and another. One every day. And Charlie, I'll kill you last.” — Ethan Rom to Charlie Pace while trying to get Claire Littleton returned to his custody. (Season One, “Homecoming”)
11. “I've done everything you wanted me to do, so why have you done this to me?!” — Locke pounding on the hatch in the aftermath of Boone's accident. (Season One, “Deus Ex Machina”)
12. “You have only three choices: run, hide, or die.” — Danielle Rousseau warning the castaways about the impending arrival of the Others. (Season One, “Exodus”)
13. “You have some… Arzt… on you.” — Hurley to Jack, who literally has a piece of the freshly blown up Leslie Arzt on his shoulder. (Season One, “Exodus”)
14. “The thing is, we're gonna have to take the boy.” — Mr. Friendly to Michael Dawson and the others on the raft right before kidnapping Walt. (Season One, “Exodus”)
15. “WAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLT!!!!!!!!!” — Michael shouting after his kidnapped son. (Season One, “Exodus,” and way too many times after that.)
16. “That's why it's called a leap of faith, Jack.” — Locke trying to convince Jack to push the button in the hatch. (Season Two, “Orientation”)
17. “Have a cluckity-cluck-cluck day, Hugo!” — Jin-Soo Kwon during one of Hurley's particularly bizarre visions. (Season Two, “Everybody Hates Hugo”)
18. “Do not mistake coincidence for fate.” — Mr. Eko to Locke following their first faith-driven conversation. (Season Two, “What Kate Did”)
19. “If I was one of them — these people that you seem to think are your enemies — what would I do? Well, there would be no balloon, so I'd draw a map to a real secluded place like a cave or some underbrush, a good place for a trap… an ambush. And when your friends got there, a bunch of my people would be waiting for them. Then they'd use them to trade for me. I guess it's a good thing I'm not one of them, huh? You guys got any milk?” — Benjamin Linus, posing as the imprisoned Henry Gale, while eating breakfast in the hatch next to John and Jack. (Season Two, “The Whole Truth”)
20. “Should I go get a ruler?” — Kate to Jack and Sawyer after they've significantly upped their stakes in a poker game. (Season Two, “Lockdown”)
21. “When I want the guns, I'll get the guns.” — Jack to Sawyer, explaining why he didn't need to bet on the cache of guns that Sawyer has stolen. (Season Two, “Lockdown”)
22. “I'll see you in another life, brother.” — Desmond Hume to Locke right before he negates the Swan Station's electromagnetic source. (Season Two, “Live Together, Die Alone”)
23. “We're the good guys, Michael.” — Ben to Michael before setting him free. (Season Two, “Live Together, Die Alone”)
24. “I guess I'm out of the book club.” — Ben to Juliet Burke after Oceanic Flight 815's crash onto the Island. (Season Three, “A Tale of Two Cities”)
25. “You speak to me as though I'm your brother.” — The Smoke Monster, posing as Yemi, to Mr. Eko right before he viciously murders him in the jungle. (Season Three, “The Cost of Living”)
26. “No, I think you misunderstood me. I didn't say I was going to do it — I just wanted you to understand how you were going to die.” — Jack to Ben, refusing to perform spinal surgery on him. (Season Three, “I Do”)
27. “Why are we continuing to play this little game when we all know it has moved to the next stage?” — Mikhail Bakunin to Sayid and Kate, acknowledging that he is indeed an Other. (Season Three, “Enter 77″)
28. “Well, how about that… Sawyer's my name, too.” — Sawyer to Locke's father after learning that he is the man responsible for his parents' deaths. (Season Three, “The Brig”)
29. “This is where I came from. These are my people. The DHARMA Initiative. They came here seeking harmony but they couldn't even co-exist with the Island's inhabitants. When it became clear that one side had to go — that one side had to be purged — I did what I had to do. I was one of the people who was smart enough to make sure I didn't end up in that ditch. Which makes me considerably smarter than you, John.” — Ben to John right before he shoots him in the gut and leaves him to rot in the DHARMA Initiative gravesite. (Season Three, “The Man Behind The Curtain”)
30. “If you say live together, die alone to me, Jack, I'm going to punch you in your face.” — Rose Nadler to Jack after it appears that the plan to kill the Others has fallen through, possibly endangering her husband. (Season Three, “Through The Looking Glass”)
31. “Not Penny's boat.” — Charlie's dying message to Desmond, written on his hand. (Season Three, “Through The Looking Glass”)
32. “Karl. Now, if you're going to sleep with my daughter, I insist that you call me Ben.” — Ben, tied up and badly beaten, to Alex's boyfriend. (Season Four, “Confirmed Dead”)
33. “You'll understand soon enough that there are consequences to being chosen. Because destiny, John, is a fickle bitch.” — Ben explaining to John why being the Island's leader isn't the most glamorous job in the world. (Season Four, “Cabin Fever”)
34. “So?” — Ben, after Locke informs him that killing Keamy effectively doomed every single person currently on the freighter. (Season Four, “There's No Place Like Home”)
35. “You can go now, Michael.” — Christian Shephard providing Michael with the last words he'll ever hear. (Season Four, “There's No Place Like Home”)
36. “Maybe if you ate more comfort food, you wouldn't have to go around shooting people. — Hurley stating his disapproval over Sayid's career as an assassin. (Season Five, “Because You Left”)
37. “I'm not supposed to have chocolate before dinner.” — Charlotte Lewis's final words to Daniel Faraday before dying of time displacement. (Season Five, “This Place is Death”)
38. “We're not going to Guam, are we?” — Frank Lapidus to Jack having just realized that he's about to go back to the Island. (Season Five, “316″)
39. “It doesn't matter what we do. Whatever happened, happened.” — Faraday explaining the principles of time travel. (Season Five, “LaFleur”)
40. “It only ends once. Anything that happens before that is just progress.” — Jacob to the Man in Black during a conversation about human nature. (Season Five, “The Incident”)
41. “If this works, you might just save us all. If it doesn't, at least you'll put us out of our misery.” — Sayid on why he's chosen to help Jack set off the bomb. (Season Five, “The Incident”)
42. “You have no idea what I've been through to be here.” — The Man in Black, posing as John Locke, right before he has Ben kill Jacob. (Season Five, “The Incident”)
Check back tomorrow for the final edition of LOST IN NUMBERS, a series of daily features running until the season premiere of “Lost” on February 2, 2010.